Waiting on Peonies
The year we lost our sons, He knew I would need something to hold close to my heart so He gave me peonies. God is good like that. It was my favorite flower and Andrew planted them for me shortly after we lost our sons. It took 3 years for us to get the first bloom. That year we got 3 flowers, one for each of our boys.
As I struggled with the pain from Endometriosis, there came a point when I was bedridden. I hardly ever made it downstairs but whenever the peonies came, I would muster enough strength to see them in bloom. The girls would say Mommy is “waiting on peonies.” The peonies became a symbol of hope in our home. It was a tangible reminder of His goodness. A reminder that even when it looked like there was no sign of life (we got nothing...literally nothing for 3 years!) God was working, He was strengthening their roots, He was preparing for an overflow and with each year there was multiplication.
The world makes us think that once we get that which we have longed for…the waiting is over. And as Christians, we often do others a disservice by making it seem like somehow for us, we don’t have to wait anymore.
I’ve realized that as I waited to become a mother, then as I waited to be free from the pain of Endometriosis, then as I waited and still wait on Him every day for the grace to parent as a special needs mother to daughters with autism, I’m always waiting. And as we wait, we pray for strength for today, and a bright hope for tomorrow.
So in our home, on the hard days, on the beautiful days, and on the beautifully hard days, we like to say we are waiting on peonies.
Andrew surprised me with a second peony plant a few years ago. Last year was the first time it looked like it would bloom but to be honest, we weren’t sure because the plant actually broke under unusually heavy rain.
Then one morning, despite it breaking, we got 3 flowers…because like He has proven to us over and over, if you give Him your broken He makes it beautiful. God is good like that.
Keep waiting on peonies friends! For this I prayed!
*In honor of our three sons, Noah Benjamin, Caleb Thomas, and Micah Samuel, who we love and miss dearly. My sweet boys, when you hug Jesus today, can you please tell Him Mommy said thanks for the peonies.