God of Hard Places

I never forget the journey of infertility but some days it just hits me. As I sit, I hold in my hands a bill for embryo storage. This bill is a story of the hard and the hope of the impossible in my hands all at once.

It was January 2014. After losing the boys we had no more embryos, we had no more money. We had maxed out everything we had and we were in huge debt.

 I told Andrew no more, we were done but he wasn’t convinced. One night as he was praying God would change my mind he went to get the mail and there was a check for $9000. Apparently, I was owed some money from 4 years prior and this company just realized their mistake and their system issued me a check.

That was the money we used for our 9th cycle. Through that cycle, God blessed us with our girls and with these remaining embryos.

Sometimes infertility looks like this… 

I’ve paid this bill once a quarter for almost 8 years and I cry almost every time I get this bill. I cry because I will forever be grateful for the outcome. I cry because I still grieve the journey. I cry because I am reminded that hard things happen and I can’t change that…we live in a broken world. I cry because I am reminded of the hope that exists because we serve a God of hard places and He is faithful.

“Jacob left Beersheba and went toward Haran. And he came to a certain place and stayed there that night, because the sun had set. Taking one of the stones of the place, he put it under his head and lay down in that place to sleep. And he dreamed, and behold, there was a ladder set up on the earth, and the top of it reached to heaven. And behold, the angels of God were ascending and descending on it!” Genesis 28:10-12

 If you find yourself in a hard place and it feels like you are literally resting your head on a stone, my prayer today is that the God that shows up in hard places would show Himself to you today.

 For this I prayed ❤️