I’m glad we didn’t see it coming…

We’ve been dating for 23 years and we still celebrate our first date anniversary. Last night it was with an almond croissant and a ton of laughs. We had no idea the journey we would take and I’m glad we didn’t, otherwise I’m pretty sure we wouldn’t have signed up for it.

Over the years we’ve celebrated in my parents’ living room (because that’s where we had most of our dates…if you know my dad, you know), at fancy restaurants, in the hospital when the Endometriosis pain was too much to manage at home, crying during IVF cycles or on our knees praying for the future of our kids after some hard autism days. But last night, we shared a croissant and laughed for hours.

 After 23 years of dating and after many of those years including pain, infertility, loss, and nights when we honestly didn’t know if we would stay married, I’m glad we didn’t give up on us.

 Sometimes when I’m in the midst of a hard time I get so frustrated because I want to know what lies ahead. I feel like if I know the outcome I would be able to make the right decisions on the next steps. But times like these, I’m grateful that we only know in part. I’m glad we didn’t see this journey coming because we wouldn’t have signed up for it.

 I’ve realized that maybe I don’t want to see. Maybe what I really want, is to trust that I can still walk through the unseen. That it’s okay to trip and fall. That I can still find a speck of light on even the darkest of days. That this light may not always show me the way out but sometimes it’s there to brighten me within, to give me enough joy and strength to take the next dark step.

 I’m glad I couldn’t see the road ahead. Because I would have missed out on knowing that it doesn’t end with all the hard stuff. And that even the darkest of times can’t suppress our laugh! I would have been bummed if I missed out on these laughs.

For this, I prayed ❤️