It’s okay Mama…He’s got them!

Becoming a mom was a roller coaster of emotions for me.

It was something I wanted for so long after so much loss and then when it finally happened I got really sick, really fast, shortly after they were born. I spent the first 5+ years practically bed ridden and spent a lot of time feeling like I wasn’t doing enough. For the first few years we weren’t attending church regularly, we didn’t have family nearby and didn’t really have a community of help. Honestly, many of the times we felt like we were drowning.

The one thing we continued to do was to worship. When we couldn’t speak or pray we would just worship, sometimes we would leave one song on repeat for days. My prayer was always that God would meet us and carry us and that eventually He would reveal Himself to our girls and they would know He was the one that was carrying them too. Because looking back, I have no idea how we got through those years before my excision surgery if not for the grace of God!

As I was packing their bags for school this morning (and shortly after I yelled at them for fighting), I snuck up on a sweet moment of them singing in worship. It just warmed my heart.

It was such a reminder that even on the days when I get it wrong, because I have some serious mom fail days, He never does. On the days when I can’t carry them, He always will. On the days when I just cried in worship, He wasn’t just meeting me, in those moments He was meeting them too. And on the days when this mama can’t control what happens when she’s not around, He’s got them. He always has and He always will because as much as I love them, He loves them even more.

For this I prayed ❤️